First of all I do have to apologise for the complete lack of blogging over the last few weeks. The aim was a blog a week but it really depends on work load and/or inspiration as to what would be most interesting to blog about. New resolution, made whilst trying to get to sleep on a Sunday night (why is it that on Sunday night your brain comes alive with all the things you could do to improve your life, stops you from going to sleep as you should do for that 8.30 meeting you have on Monday, and you can never remember any of your life changing ideas when you wake up on Monday?) was that I should try and write smaller blogs and keep them light.So, having just got back from the UK there is something I have noticed. One of the things I find most people complain about in France is that the French are rude. I've lived here for almost five years and I'm finding increasing that when I go back to the UK the Brits aren't exactly very friendly either. The French may not smile but they are at least polite and very strict about greetings and farewells. Take for example the lady who sells me my papers. I arrive in the morning grabbing the papers off the rack and folding them to try and fit into my bag. I greet her with a "Bonjour" which she replies to, then she tells me how much it is, I produce the money, she gives me the change, we exchange "merci"s and I leave saying an "au revoir et bonne journée" which she responds to with "a vous aussi". She doesn't crack a smile and we rarely have any other conversation unless there is a strike on in which case she asks which metro I'm getting and mentions something about her ride to work. The exchange is perfectly polite and friendly.
When back in the UK I find I'm almost expecting something better than this civil exchange and am very disappointed when not only do not get friendliness but all I get is "Yes please!" (i.e. next customer please) and once the monetary transaction is over there's no "bye bye and have a nice day". Not only is it not friendly (the dead beat tone of voice as I'm being served) but it lacks the politeness. Maybe it's me but I get so used to the "Bonjour Madame" when I walk into a shop here and even if they aren't always friendly there is always some kind of "merci, au revoir" and usually a "bonne soirée" or "bonne journée" depending.
On a completely other point, after almost five years of living here I still find the transition between going back to the UK and then returning to France quite difficult. I call it Harry Potter syndrome. Sometimes when I'm back in the UK all the problems of France seem so far away, like for Harry at "Hogwarts" but equally I also feel that I'm detached from all the good things here, like my life in France never existed. When I go back to the UK I slip easily into being a normal Brit. I look very English for one, I sound British and generally act like everyone else. At any moment I could return to the UK and all this time in France would just become a distance memory. What is strange however is that I have in the past felt completely isolated and alone in the UK, more so than being a foreigner in France. The thing is that in France is it clearly obvious that I am foreign and therefore not at all like any one else. When I'm back in the UK I look English but my life is not English, my daily concerns have nothing to do with the UK. I couldn't give a hoot about who is the latest Big Brother candidate to be evicted and what exactly Tony is saying to Gordon. When I get back to the UK it takes a while to settle and get back into English life, it also these days takes time for me to stop talking Franglais and form my sentences properly. But after a few days I'm fine, happy with my family, planning what to stock up on during my next shopping trip into the local town and quite happily accepting my Mum's ten-a-day cups of tea.
Then I return to France with English in my head and feeling totally British again. When I get to the airport and I start speaking French the words sound awkward and misplaced. My voice sounds unfamiliar. I'm totally detached from all my previous worries which had seemed so important to me before leaving for the UK, and it takes time to settle back in. Worryingly it sometimes takes time to settle back into being with Monsieur although more and more over the last year going to the UK without him seems wrong. Whilst I can detach myself from things here in France, being without him in the UK makes me feel like I'm missing a vital body part, but I guess that's love!
Anyway, here I am back in France again looking out the window thinking "Do I really live here?", "Is my life really in Paris?". Of course in a few days I'll be back in the swing of things huffing at the metro being packed or having to queue for food in Monoprix but right now I'm still lost in transition.
