There's no place like home

OK so they are not red, they are sparkly, but no matter how much I click my heels together I won't just magically fly home (which to be fair would be a really good thing given how much Easyjet are charging these days plus all those extra charges for hand luggage, what???). This time of the year, i.e. the month of November is particularly difficult.

Living in France is amazing, glamorous, romantic, poetic and filled with amazing experiences however there is no place like home and being away from home is difficult. Sometimes I think if I had stayed in the UK and got a job it would be most likely that I would be working away from home and so would not see my family more often than I do at present but at least I would only be a few hours drive away and could go home whenever I wanted. Also there are times when I am home that I think, "isn't this great!" and think about how easy it would be just to move back and fit right back into British culture and not have to overcome the cultural differences as I do here. In actual fact this is just a fantasy because no sooner would I be home than I would be miserable because I missed France.

When I moved out here four years ago everyone said how brave I was being and what a "tough cookie" I was. It's funny how when everyone says that you are brave you don't feel very brave isn't it? Anyway, yes I was being brave, I didn't know anyone in Bordeaux and I had come out on my own to study. Since then I came to Paris, found an apartment, found a job and did the whole thing over again. I think however brave people are those who overcome situations which are imposed upon them. I chose to go to France and start a new life, brave maybe, obstinately stupid definitely! Of course nothing bad happened and year after year my life has worked out, if it hadn't I wouldn't still be here. I'm also someone who despite the difficulties refuses to go back to the UK and wants to prove that I can make it (I've yet to "make it" but I'll keep you posted!). Whilst the last four years have been challenging they have also been rewarding but these rewards have involved sacrifices.

As it always the case, when you decide to move far away from home you have to accept the fact that friends and family will be further away, that their lives will continue without you and that the distance will make a difference. In some cases this can mean that relationship's are improved because you don't see each other every day and hence really enjoy the times that you do see each other but in other cases, living away means that you miss out on special occasions, relationships developing through sharing moments and you have to accept the fact that your old friends will move on without you and even become closer among themselves leaving you out. When I do see my friends in the UK I have discovered that there are cultural differences, my daily life is so different from theirs. They may be talking about the latest sales in Warehouse whereas I'll be excited about the fact that Camaïeu has its 10 days of offers and as for what goes on in popular culture forget it! They'll be humming the latest Amy Winehouse single where as in France, "Rehab" has only just come out. Of course these things don't matter in good friendships but still, events over the last few years have made me realize that sacrifices have been made.

I'm not at all complaining about my life in France. I consider myself to be VERY blessed and haven't regretted anything that has happened in the last few years. Old friendships may show signs of wear and tear but they are still standing and like any relationship they need nurturing from time to time to keep them strong. Also over the past few years I have made and nurtured many other new friendships which I'm very happy about. Everything that has happened, everyone I have met, all the relationships I have had/have still are all part of who I am today and of course I wouldn't want to change that.

What I am trying to say (in my usual roundabout fashion) is that whilst the sparkling lights of the champs elysée are only a few meters away, whilst I can buy myself freshly baked warm croissants and pain au chocolats at any time I choose, whilst I have access to gallons of great cheap French wine and a wide range of cheeses and then of course there are all those charming handsome French men…. all this sometimes cannot compare to being home with my family and friends who come from the same culture as I do, speak the same language, laugh at the same jokes, and have known and loved me for all my life.

Vive les vacances!

Picasso I am not!

Just a small note to say that I've been fiddling around with the colours and fonts etc to see if I could make the blog more appealing. I need to get my camera out and take some decent photos to put up so in the meantime apologies for the blog lay out not being very interesting.

Thanksgiving

Being British I obviously don't celebrate thanksgiving. In fact in Britain we have very few national holidays. There is St George's day which I think is sometime in June and which no-one really cares about, although I think it has become more popular in recent years. There is St Patrick's Day, which is of course Irish, but even if you're not Irish you celebrate it (actually I have more than a couple of Irish relations so I can legitimately celebrate this one). Then there is bonfire/Guy Fawkes night, which is more of a night of fireworks and bonfires and toffee apples and not an actual day. My Canadian cousin, on 1 July (Canada's Independence Day) asked me, "When is England's independence day?" Erm…How can I explain this? So we were the bad guys who colonized everybody and hence everybody else gets to celebrate having defeated us, kicked us out of their country, gained their independence from us etc. Unless you want to count the Romans or the Saxons, England has never really been occupied and hence has never had an independence day. We also don't really have a national costume unless you want to count a man in a bowler hat and a business suit (which is the image the French seem to have of us) sipping tea, holding an umbrella and a bulldog at his side! Anyway enough complaining….

So Thanksgiving, it has only been in recent years that I have in fact begun to celebrate Thanksgiving, or rather I should say I have been privileged to know Americans who have very kindly invited me to their thanksgiving. It all seems like lots of fun and I vaguely understand a bit about the origins of it. The problem lots of Americans living in France find about trying to celebrate this traditional event is finding the ingredients for it. For some reason there is a shortage of turkeys, there is definitely a big problem when it comes to finding a pumpkin especially in Paris! Then of course even if you do find said ingredient it may not be the well-known, tried and tested brand that your mother/grandmother always uses so things don't actually taste the same (again according to a good American friend of mine). I do have to admire my American friends for obstinately insisting on celebrating thanksgiving in spite of the difficulties.

For the last two years I have been kindly invited to an American friend's house in Bordeaux. I remember the first year I was there and around the table were other French friends. Some of the dishes looked rather strange, certainly to the French guests. Of course turkey can be bland at times and even adding herbs is not enough to satisfy the French palate. For me, the turkey, carrots, potatoes and cranberry sauce were like our traditional Christmas dinner or like a traditional Sunday roast and of course I was quite happy to tuck in but to the French, admittedly this dinner was not as flavored as they were used to but they at least gave it ago. The number of times I have French friends making comments about our "bizarre British foods" like lamb and mint jelly and turkey and cranberry as if it was the strangest thing in the world! I would like to point out however that Foie gras is often served with a sweet jelly so we're not that far off the mark! What caused the most eyebrow raising were the sweet potatoes with the marshmallow topping. There were several grimaces from the French guests and I have to admit that even I thought this may be a step too far. Marshmallow sweet gooey stuff next to turkey and potatoes??? Still we all decided to taste it nonetheless. And guess what? Everyone, even the most skeptical among us were asking for seconds.

This year, there is no invite for thanksgiving on the horizon but I would like to wish all my American friends a happy thanksgiving. It’s a lovely time to celebrate with friends and family around a dinner table covered with delicious home made food. I'm not celebrating Thanksgiving today but I can celebrate that fact that we are almost only 4 weeks to Christmas. That said, if I happen to see a pecan pie in a bakers on the way home I shall be using Thanksgiving as an excuse for buying said pie!!

Weekend in Batignolles

Paris is a big bustling city but outside the main city centre, each arrondissement of Paris has its own vibe and pleasant charm. Batignolles, in the 17th arrondissement, is my quartier. A typical weekend in Batignolles could consist of going out on a Saturday afternoon (after a nice lie in of course!), taking your basket or shopping bag to the organic food market on Boulevard des Batignolles and checking out all the seasonal fruit and vegetables. You have to have a good bit of cash on you because the produce is not cheap and they obviously do not take carte bleu! The fruit may not look as shiny as in the supermarket but you can be guaranteed that it is organic. My favourite is the cheese stall, I've become quite a cheese fan since I came to France and whilst I have developed a taste for camembert and some other smelly cheeses, my favourite is goats cheese all white and crumbly and looking just perfect to spread onto a bit of crusty bread! Do not be fooled by the clientele who have an air of ex-hippy, peace and love etc, if you don't respect the queue (the French aren't usually known for their queuing skills but this seems to be the exception) you will find a little old lady grumbling at you for getting in before her and getting the last of the nice organic apples! There is a lady who sells organic beauty products and a lovely man who sold me some organic honey. If you're budget won't stretch to organic, walk a little bit further until you get to Place Prosper Goubaux, where you can turn into rue de Levis and see another market, not organic but just as good. There are all kinds of food shops, butchers, fromageries (cheese again), specialist olive oil shops, book shops etc. The fruit is not organic I grant you but it is a bit cheaper and tastes just as nice, plus there is plenty on display and less chance of arguing with the Batignolle Bobos (Bourgois-Bohème – French word for yuppies). Once shopping is done it is time to take a rest in one of the small cafés and watch the passers by (favourite past time since living in France) and dream about life, love and all the rest.

Sunday, we braved the cold and went for a walk to Square des Batignolles, supposedly the biggest square in Europe (doesn't everyone say that their park, building, square is the biggest square in Europe?) before it becomes too big and is classified as a park. This is a nice little park/big square with a small waterfall flowing into a small river and lake. It's quite a charming setting and it's lovely to see families walking there on a Sunday afternoon and watch children getting excited about feeding the many ducks, geese and black swans (although apparently you're officially not allowed cos I've already been told off once! Spoil sport!). At Place du Docteur Félix, in front of the Church, Notre Dame Des Batignolles, is a nice little square with some nice cafés and restaurants. Then if you head up Rue Batignolles you'll come across more little boutiques, restaurants and special epiceries until once again coming to the Boulevard. It is so pleasant and feels like a secret little community tucked away far from Paris.

Strike two!

So here we are again, only a few weeks after the last strike and now there is another transport strike but this time it may go on until next Thursday when everyone else is going to get on the band wagon i.e. the students, the teachers, the public services (quelle surprise!) and lord knows who else!!!
The strike hasn't caused too much hassle for me personally. This morning I had to walk to work which took me around 45 minutes and I could feel quite smug knowing that for once I actually have done some exercise! Of course the novelty may wear off by the end of the week if there are still no metros. To be fair I don't know what the situation is on my usual metro line because I figured I could either wait and find out how many people were crammed into the one out of five metros or just walk and not waste time. I may be feeling adventurous this evening and see if I can get a metro home so as not to walk home in the dark.

Strikes really annoy me. I was born in the 1980s and grew up in the Thatcher years so I wasn't really aware of the economic changes that happened during that time. All I know was that one day we could have milk at break times and then there was no more milk and apples! When I started to work (about the age of 16 in a weekend job) I had very little trouble finding work in England and since my first weekend job at 16 I have never had too much trouble finding work in the UK. France is a different case and I find it really frustrating that the employment market is as difficult as it is. Once in a job we are AMAZINGLY privileged: lunch tickets, 25 days holiday a year plus the 6 or so national holidays, RTTS (Réduction du temps de travail – days you earn (6 a year) for having worked over your 35 hour week!), a committee (comite d'entreprise) which organizes social events for us, gives us reduced price cinema tickets and will even pay our gym membership! Finding that job however is rather difficult unless you have the exact level of qualifications in the exact sector in which you want to work (you would have a hard time for example finding a job in marketing if you had a banking degree unless you had the relevant experience, which would be difficult to obtain for the same reasons). You also usually have to do internships (stages), sometimes spending up to a year or more as a unpaid intern in order to get work experience, before you can get that oh-so-elusive CDI (contrat de durée indeterminée - permanent working contract). In spite of all the benefits French workers have, especially in the public sector where they seem to do very little but have a water tight employment contract, they decide things are not good enough and decide to go on strike further crippling an already poor economy.

What most annoys me about this is that other workers, who want to work are OBLIGED not to work in some circumstances because the others have decided they want to strike, or more generally, are inconvenienced by the strike because they can't get to work. The right to work is not a fundamental right. The right to study is not a fundamental right either but in France the right to strike is one of their fundamental rights. The right to move around freely is also a fundamental right but one which clearly takes second place to the former. I find this totally unfair. Universities are blocked by students protesting against a law not knowing whether in fact this law may be beneficial to them in the long run. These protests prevent other students, who actually want to study, from attending classes. Their universities are archaic, the resources pitiful and the teaching methods centuries out of date. Ok, they are lucky enough not to be up to their eyes in debt after their studies (as is the case in the UK) and that everyone has access to university education (on the condition of obtaining your baccalaureate but irrespective of the result) but maybe by paying a bit more their universities would improve and attract foreign investment.

I don't mind the strike for what it is. Fair enough, if you have a point to make go and protest, go and strike for as long as you want but don't prevent others from freely living their lives. I love this country and I love its people, if my future is to be here in France, I would like to live in a France which retains all its good qualities for which we admire it but also that it be a country where things are possible without all the administrative red tape, where the economy is good and where future generations will be able to find work, create businesses and contribute to this great nation. Est-il possible?

BISOUS!

One of my favourite words in French is "Bisous", probably for the same reason that "chocolate" is also a good word because it conjures up a nice image or sensation. Bisous means a kiss, whether it be a kiss on the lips or a real kiss on the cheek. It is also seen as a term of endearment or of sending your best wishes to someone. At the end of letters to friends and family, in England we sign of "love and hugs" in France they will say "bises", "bisous", "gross bisous" "je t'embrasse" or "je t'embrasse fort". Note that this is strictly between friends, you would not put it on the end of an email to your boss! In the same way that girls analyse texts from guys to see how many "x" they put at the end, the same attention has been given to texts from French guys to decide whether "bises" may be less sincere than "je t'embrasse".

Now we all know that in France when you greet someone you are required to kiss them on the cheeks, from once, twice up to six times (!!) depending on certain areas of France. This tradition is something I find both enjoyable and at times completely bizarre! In Bordeaux for example, you have to kiss people twice (easy enough!). However in Montpellier it's three times and in Paris its sometimes four times and sometimes twice. The problem is when you meet someone who is say for example from Tours, where it is four times, and you are in Bordeaux, do you kiss twice because you are in Bordeaux or four times because the person comes from Tours?? Also when do you go for "bises" and when do you go for hand shake. Obviously when out with friends, if there is another friend who is introduced to the group then they "fait les bises à tout le monde" and kiss everyone who is present, but in a work situation it kind of depends.

When I studied in Bordeaux, among my group of friends, when we arrived bleary eyed for our morning lectures, we greeted each other with "les bises". Given that we were quite a large group, if you arrived late and the group was still hanging around waiting to go in to the lecture hall, then you had to go and give "les bises" to everyone. This was sometimes not a bad thing as several of the guys in the group were rather good looking and I can't say I minded being given kisses every morning from my handsome friends!! Of course this ritual reoccurred each time we met, whether it be for classes or social events. Sometimes it's a logistical nightmare because the person may be sat at a table in which case they usual stand up so that you can both lean across the table to kiss each other, trying not to send the glasses or other objects on the table flying! Guys have it easy because if it is all guys in the group then all they have to do is shake hands, girls have to kiss everybody, whether male or female. This becomes delicate as sometimes you would meet with a group of people consisting of a mix of your friends, people you don't know or even people you know but don't actually like. In which case there is a different kind of "bises". Sometimes you do a genuine kiss, maybe with a hand lightly touching the arm, other times you do a plain air kiss and if it is someone you don't particularly like, the facial expression changes to being either a sort of disinterested expression. The other kind of kissers, is what my friend used to call "face snoggers" who give you a lovely wet kiss, kind of like what your granny used to do and you have to stand there talking to them just waiting for the moment when you can wipe your cheek! Whilst the French have the whole cheek kissing thing down to a fine art, I have met more than a few "face snoggers"

But what happens when you really care about the person or you are really happy to see them? Well the tendency in the UK (and in the US as an American friends explained to me) is a nice big hug. But many of my French friends are not huggers! In fact, several of them, through years of friendship I have finally trained to hug (and let's not go into the difference between those who hug and those who cuddle!). The French find hugs invasive whilst we find kissing unnecessary and sometimes just as invasive.

After having lived in Bordeaux for several years I knew that many people, through study or work, that a simple Saturday afternoon shopping trip down the rue St Catherine would be frequently interrupted by stopping to say hello to people. Whereas in England, when you see someone you know you just give them a way and keep on going (if you can't stop), in France you feel rude if you don't stop to do some kisses, and as you have stopped you have to say hello and ask how they are so you end up stopping for a good five minutes or so.

Another difficultly I have encountered with the whole "bises" business is when you work with both French people and English people. In a formal working environment you greet your colleagues with a formal handshake. Even if there is no physical contact involved, you MUST go round in the morning and say hello to people, especially if later in the day you are going to need their help. If you don't see them in the morning and you bump into them in the afternoon you have to say "je t'ai dit le bonjour?" before you begin to say anything else or else you could be seen to be rude. With closer colleagues you "fait les bises". The problem I found was when I worked with British or American colleagues, we didn't feel the need to "faire les bises" but then it seemed rude if I was going to kiss my Spanish or French colleagues, to leave the British colleagues out. So it was mutually decided to "when in Rome…". This led to situations where we would end up kissing each other in greeting even when there were no French colleagues around. Eventually, even though to begin with this whole ritual was awkward and seemed unnecessary, we got so used to it that when I went home for Christmas I found myself making a physical movement towards friends to give them a kiss. Luckily they were friends who interpreted the gesture as the beginnings of a hug and therefore reciprocated. Some friends teased me about the way I now kissed as I didn't give "proper" kisses but rather snobbish air kisses!

The most embarrassing situation is when to kiss and when not to kiss. I think I'm used to it now so can interpret the body language and prepare to be kissed but there have been some fairly embarrassing moments, people going in the wrong direction resulting in what looks like a strange kind of dance (generally, except in the south of France, you go left), brushing of lips! I'm quite happy with just two kisses, one on each cheek, it's perfectly acceptable and doesn't take too long. Once I met an acquaintance of a friend when I was in Bordeaux who was himself from Paris. He absolutely insisted that we kiss four times even though I pointed out that we were in Bordeaux and that it was two times.

Anyway, like I said, once you get the hang of it, it's quite nice but even so, sometimes I wish they would put a sign up outside each town saying "here, we kiss three times", because if not, you could easily end up head butting someone!