Expat politics

I was on the train once, happily settled into my seat, magazine on the fold away table in front of me, munching on my sandwich when a fellow passenger came and took his seat beside me. I have to say that he took a while to put his bag and coat on the overhead shelf, take out his computer and the documents he would probably be working on and put a smaller bag under the seat. The whole time this exercise was accompanied by much huffing and puffing and muttering to himself….in English. It was clear that I was next to another Expat.

I would classify expats into four categories:
1) the pensioners – those who are retired and have bought a second home in France and come to live there during their retirement,
2) the working expats – who have been sent here with their families and maybe choose to stay
3) the French lovers – those who have met someone French and have moved with them to France or alternatively those who were here for a temporary period, have met their French partners and now chose to stay,
4) the student – either those on a year abroad or those who having finished a year abroad come here after graduation for a year or two "whilst they decide what to do with their lives" and who can very often fall in love with a French person and then fall into category 3.

Categories 1 and 2 may want to meet other expats because they can't or don't want to learn French and find it easier to have other English speaking friends. Those in categories 3 or 4 may have some expat friends but generally as they want to intergrate into French society, they don't want to meet with other expats. I fall into the 3/4 category, I used to study here, then I came back and started work and now I have met someone. During the years I have spent here I have made other expat friends but don't usually actively seek out other expats.

Often when expats do meet up we can often talk about the French and compare our view of French life. The result of this is that these commentaries can seem rather negative and even insulting. However, we are all here because we love France or the French but as with love, you love but you don't always have to like nor to completely understand. I say this because my blog is exactly that, I love France and I love many things about the French but there are lots of things I find strange and therefore comment on. Consider this as a disclaimer for any harsh comments I might make.

The other problem I sometimes face, when an expats speaks French very well, is discerning when I am in front of an English speaking person and in what language to speak to him or her in. Of course when the conversation starts we speak French but at what point do we give up the act? Some expats have lived her so long that there accent is very light so it is difficult to be sure exactly where they are from. Indeed, if nothing is said, but you think the person next to you/in front of you is English, how do you let the person know?

With the guy on the train I could obviously tell he was English and he was making no attempts to hide it, in fact I would say he wanted those around him to know. I was reading a French magazine and despite my obvious English rose looks, I could have passed for a French person (or at least I like to think so) but I decided I wanted to indicate that I was in fact English. Firstly I rummaged in my bag and took out an English novel (with a WH Smiths sticker) also, whenever he bumped into me as he was settling down or moving during the journey, to his "excuse-moi" I replied "don't worry". Eventually he did click on to the fact that I was British, asked me a question directly in English which then led to us having a conversation for the rest of the journey. We spoke about our respective lives in France. Whenever I do meet an expat I'm fascinated to find out why they are here, for how long and what they do. Naturally, and as mentioned above we did spend a lot of the time talking about the French in the work place and criticizing the system. At the end of the trip I was quite concerned that any French passengers who had overheard and understood our conversation might have thought "well if you don't like the French way of life, why stay here?" and could have been a little insulted.

Finally, there is the situation when you are the secret expat, where you are around English speaking expats who chat in public freely and discussing all sorts of subjects believing that those around them can't understand. Metros and buses are great places for overhearing tourists and other English speakers chat as if they were the only ones there. The issue in such a situation is at what point do you let them know that you are English and can understand or do you stay quiet and listen to what they are saying. On the one hand it is quite interesting, on the other it can be quite embarrassing when it happens to you. I was once on the tram in Bordeaux with a friend discussing in detail the weekends events and a bit of boy trouble when the guy sat next to my friend stood up and said "excuse me, my stop is next" in a very distinct British accent. My friend and I looked at each other shocked realizing what we had been discussing. They guy smiled knowingly and said "don't worry girls, I'm sure it will all work out".

Galette with glee

You have to love things here in France sometimes. In the UK the 6th January signifies the day on which all your Christmas decorations must have been taken down. After which date, if they are still up, it is supposed to be back luck. So all those brightly lit houses with hundreds of reindeers, santas, snowmen, sparkling lights and Christmas trees outside return to looking grey and drab. I always remembered that time of year during the Christmas school holidays, it was so sad when all the Christmas decorations had to be taken down and all of a sudden the house just looked normal, worse still it looked dull and sad.

In France, the 6th January is the Epiphany, the day they celebrate the visit of the three kings. In bakeries around France they sell a "Galette", a puff pastry almond flavored cake in which is hidden a little token, or "fève" which literally means broad bean. There used to be a bean hidden in the cake now it is more some kind of a plastic figurine or token. If you find this little present in your bit of cake (hoping that you have not choked on it!) then you become "the king". Galettes are indeed sold with a cardboard crown so the person who becomes the king wears the crown. Then, if my understanding of this tradition is correct, the king may then choose his queen and pass on the crown. It is also supposed to be the case that the person who is the king is the one who buys the galette the following year.

I've celebrated the "Fête des rois" three times since I arrived in France. The first time it was a neighbour who invited me and other neighbours around. I didn't understand the tradition back then but I wasn't going to say no to cake!

This year we bought out own little galette and a bottle of cider to go with it. We cut the galette in two and both ate a slice. Neither had found the galette. It then became a race to find who would be the king, whilst ensuring that the other did not cheat by trying to look between the layers of pastry or press to hard on their slice to see if there was something hidden (adults, us?). In the end it was I who found the "fève" but as Monsieur was the only other person there he became my King, obviously! All the more so as I have a deceptively big head and the crown kept falling off (a bad sign perhaps?). Monsieur took the role very seriously and took great pleasure in acting the part, "one wishes to have the remote control" for example. I really think that if he could have done he would have worn it to bed!

Anyway, whilst the lights on the Champs Elysées are still sparkling, the celebrations have finished and its back to work.
Roll on Easter!

3..2..1… HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Now put that cigarette out!

Yes, it is now 2008 and in France the smoking ban has now been enforced. Of course to what extent it will be complied with remains to be seen. For months now it has been illegal to smoke in public places, notably the train stations, but the times I have been at the train station, the French smokers seem to have an extensive interpretation of the phrase "in the train station" and consider that smoking in the enclosed entrance of the station is prohibited but smoking on the platforms is allowed which means that when I get off the train at Montparnasse and have to walk along the narrow platform to get to the metro I often walk in a cloud of smoke from those having a cigarette after a three hour no-smoking train ride until we get to the end of the platform and "in" to the train station!

I was in Bordeaux to celebrate New Years and on the way back from our night out a rather drunk (yes believe it or not the French get drunk too!) girl got on the tram which between the "Grand Théatre" stop and "Victoire" was relatively quiet. Another guy got on at the next stop already smoking a cigarette and continued smoking regardless. The drunk girl followed his example and herself lit up. Then the guy behind me, having noticed this blatant disregard for the rules, also lit up. When the tram got to Victoire lots of other people got on, significantly reducing the space available. The smell of smoke in the air combined with the increased number of people made the tram very suffocating, even more so, as I suspected that the guy behind me wasn't smoking a "normal" cigarette. Among those who had just got one, there was a girl who decided not to put up with the smoking and asked the drunk girl would she mind putting her cigarette out as she, the other girl, was asthmatic. The drunk girl's response was "mais j'ai envie d'une cigarette, merde! Je ne peux meme pas avoir une cigarette?", to which the other girl did not hesitate to argue back saying that no she was not allowed to smoke and more importantly that those around her should be allowed to breath. Finally the drunk girl decided that she would put her cigarette out. Her reply had however astonished me. SHE wanted to smoke so therefore the other 20 or so passengers who were crammed into the carriage around her were therefore deprived of the air they breathe! Not only was it a selfish attitude but unfortunately it is one displayed by many smokers, for example those at the station who force all those walking behind them to breath in the smoke they inhale, the platform being too narrow for us to walk past them.

This morning, whilst waiting for the metro, I caught a whiff of a cigarette and looked around to see who the offending person was. A guy behind me was sat down and had a cigarette in his hand. Of course no one went to point out to him that smoking was in fact illegal. This is the very root of the problem; the French generally won't tell each other off for breaking the law, as they consider it to be the State's responsibility. Whilst non-smokers might not like the fact that a smoker has decided to light up in a non-smoking area, they are will rarely (as above) tell someone to put the cigarette out. I think it is because the French are a lot more argumentative than the Brits (or so I have seen), and people know very well that if they tell someone who is smoking to put it out, that person is very likely to argue back, which is something which I personally, wouldn't want to start.

The ban has been largely complied with in restaurants. The other day I had lunch with a colleague in a brasserie near work which usually places those who say they want "non-smoking" next to a section near the bar where people are smoking (logical!!). Anyway this time it was nice to be able to have lunch and not be surrounded by smoke.

There are places where I seriously doubt that the smoking ban will be upheld, notably in what they call cafés de commerce or cafés de sport, the small brasseries which are more for drinking and betting than for having proper meals. We walked past one the other day and whilst I couldn't see anyone smoking, we both agreed that it would be hardly surprising if there were those who were smoking.

It is however amusing, on the bus ride home to see people stood outside restaurants having a cigarette whilst the others happily eat in a smoke free environment. As a non-smoker, I wonder, how long will it be before they really quit because they are fed up of going outside in the cold or alternatively, how long before the cafés and restaurants build separate sections for their smoker customers?

The Frenchman without his gaullois?? How long can it last?

Christmas in Paris

OK so I won't actually be having Christmas in Paris as I am going home tomorrow but I can describe the Christmas celebrations we have been having recently.

Firstly there was the Christmas party which like all good Christmas parties included foie gras, a Christmas must in France, but didn't include oysters, which is another Christmas must. There was also quite naturally lots of wine and Champagne and the company had put lots of money behind the bar because the drinks were all free. Compared to British Christmas parties, the free bar did not result in everyone getting absolutely hammered. Admittedly there were a few people looking worse for wear and of course the IT guys were looking lovingly at the HR girls. But again, whereas in England there would have been lots of cheeky snogs under the mistletoe, as far as I know, at our office party there was no scandal. I did miss the cheesy Christmas music. Although the music was good and kept us on the dancefloor way into the early hours there was no Christmas music to get us in the spirit of things.

On top of the Christmas party, there was the team meal, which again was in a lovely French restaurant and was accompanied by lots of wine. The usual 2 hour lunch break, extended into 3 or 3 and a half. Like any respectable French meal, the meal included the standard three course, plus champagne to start, amuse bouches, cheese and digestifs. The remaining two or three hours of the afternoon were spent digesting and trying to find the courage to actually do some work. I spent most of the afternoon wanting to put my head on my desk and have a nap. Even the coffee after dinner did not help to overcome the effects of the champagne and wine over lunch!

All my Christmas shopping is finished luckily and I have only to pack my bags and try to get through the security tomorrow morning at Charles de Gaulle. Christmas shopping in France is easy as pie because most shops will gift wrap it for you. In fact they do that all year round so Birthday presents are easy as well. Some shops wrap gifts very nicely, Sephora for example, although they don't go to the extremes of Rowan Atkins in Love Actually.

I bought my last gifts last night, one of which was some macaroons from La Durée on Champs Elysée. Macaroons are also part of the Christmas tradition in France which might explain why I spent an HOUR queuing to get them and when I left the queue was just as long as when I had arrived. To be fair, I've queued longer for worse. It wasn't the most unpleasant hour of my life, although I was kicking myself for not having brought a camera because the decoration in the boutique is just so beautiful! I was waiting until I got to the point in the queue where I could see the display of all the lovely cakes and other delicious things on sale. The following half an hour passed a lot quickly because I was marveling at the beautiful boxes, gifts and all the rest on display. After an hour of queuing after work and before dinner, I was fairly proud of myself for only ordering the macaroons for my friend and not succumbing to the delicious réligieuses which were on sale!

What I love about France is that people are so susceptible to charm. I find it gets me out of a multiple of difficult situations and can also get advantages. And it's not just the French men that you can bat your eyelids at. When I worked in the university and we had to give our work sheets to the photocopy department, despite our warmest "bonjours" we received the cold treatment and a sigh from the lady behind the desk as if we were very much inconveniencing her life. But my colleague, who was English, bounded in with his cheeky-chappy attitude, and the sour-faced ladies were all smiles!!! (Anyway digression over)

Last night when I was in La Durée, I bought a box of 8 macaroons for my friend. Having spent the last half an hour at the far end of the counter watching the smartly dressed staff taking the gorgeous pale blue, pink or green boxes and wrapping them with silky ribbon I really wanted my friends present to have some ribbon. The young guy who served me was very nice but when I asked if he could wrap the box with ribbon he told me that as I had bought the cheaper box (no I'm not stingy, the box of macaroons is to go with many other gifts!!) he couldn't wrap it for me. I shamelessly took advantage of my female charms and gave him my best "Oh-I-am-so-disappointed-and-it-is-a-Christmas-present" look and did my best to imitate the cat in Shrek. The lovely guy then said he could put a bit of ribbon in the bag and I could wrap it myself. Cue huge smile. A small victory but a victory nonetheless. Off I trotted still grinning with my lovely La Durée bag in my hand and the ribbon to wrap my present up with later.

I am yet to spend a proper Christmas in France. Maybe next year if all goes well. In the meantime I really like going home for Christmas as I am usually home for long enough to have a nice break but not too long that my family will drive me mad (or at least I hope not!).

So to all those who have read or will read this blog over the next few days, Happy Holidays!! See you in 2008!

PS. For want of a better Chrismassy picture, please admire my artwork!! lol

Loving Paris in the winter

(Just as a side note, I have now added the links to a few blogs I rather like and if there is anyone who has stumbled upon my blog (probably looking for garden roses) and has read all my posts and is now bored and looking for more blogger fodder please check these out)

My sister and her boyfriend are coming to Paris for New Years. My sister, being rather clever, is like many friends or relatives of people who live in Paris, she has figured out that sister in Paris = free accommodation for romantic visit to Paris. She and her boyfriend shall be staying in my apartment, I have graciously agreed to go elsewhere. If anyone, like my sister is thinking that Paris might be a good idea over the Christmas season, just one word of warning, it is freezing here!!! The Eiffel tower might look very pretty all lit up and sparkling (it sparkles on the hour for about ten minutes by the way) but you'll be pretty unimpressed by it if you are freezing your toes off (going up it at this time of year is not advised either unless you are wearing a hat and earmuffs, that cold wind bites!). So if you have already seen the Paris classics (Eiffel tower, Arc du Triomph, Louvre (from the outside) and Sacré Coeur) here are a few not very expensive, alternative things couples or friends can do if they are planning to visit Paris over Christmas and the New Year.

1) Chateau Vincennes (http://www.chateau-vincennes.fr/) if you take the metro line 1 until its destination heading east you will come to Château Vincinnes. Apart from being a rather regal looking castle that you can wander into for free and then wander out the other side to the Bois de Vincennes and the Floral parc, it is also a historically interesting castle and its dungeon is one of the oldest in Europe. A guided tour starts at 7.50 euros.

2) Parc des Buttes-Chaumont (Metro Buttes-Chaumont line 7) – I love this park. It is quite steep in places but there are also lots of winding paths, fountains, a waterfall and a lake which make it quite a romantic setting. I'm sure that even if it is freezing outside, the park will look like a winter wonderland.

3) Christmas markets – Gingerbread, mulled wine, all kinds of delicious food and drinks, and craft goods. Little log cabins have been set up at various locations around Paris to create Christmas villages. Below are a few of the Christmas markets.

6e arrondissement
Le Village du Père Noël"
Place St Sulpice
From 6 to 24 December
Metro: St Sulpice

Boulevard St Germain des Prés
From 5 to 31 December
Metro: St Germain des Prés

11e arrondissement
Place de la Nation
From 1 to 24 December from 10am to 8pm
Metro: Nation

20e arrondissement
10th Ménilmontant Christmas Market
1, Place Maurice Chevallier
From 14 to 16 December
Métro : Ménilmontant

4) Get all dressed up and go and see the ballet, The Nutcracker showing at Opera Garnier places from 5-75 euros (http://www.operadeparis.fr/).

5) Sometimes you have to treat yourself and at the same time have a warm drink and escape the cold. In which case I would go to La Durée and have a coffee and sample some macaroons. It is about €1.50 per macaroon or €6.90 for a choice of four, an espresso coffee with that would be €3.30 or a delicious creamy hot chocolate would be another €6. But even though it is a little pricy for around €12 you get to escape the cold, eat gorgeous macaroons and sit in the famous luxurious La Durée restaurant. (I would advise you go there in the afternoon when there will be less people than around lunchtime for example). They have several restaurants around Paris, one on the Champs Elysée, one Rue Royale in the 6th, and another on Boulevard Haussman in the Printemps department store. For SATC fans, I think it is the one on Rue Royale that Carrie was seen in after being left by herself by the Russian. In fact, for SATC fans, there are all the locations in Paris as shown in the last two episodes of series six to be explored.

6) Le Louvre Shopping centre – Most people go and have their pictures taken at the glass pyramid outside the Louvre because they don't want to queue to go into the Louvre. I used to be one of those people. I have now discovered that the queue outside is only the queue to get into the Louvre shopping centre (through which you can then enter the museum) but for those who don't want to pay to get into the Museum you can have great photo opportunities by just going into the Louvre shopping centre which is free. There, there are lots of lovely shops, Occitane being one of them which sells all kinds of soaps and perfumes etc. Once inside, out of the cold, you can decide if you want to brave the queues and actually go into the museum itself.

7) Velib – You may already have heard about this before, in fact I think I have already mentioned it myself, but there is now this new system of self-service bicycles around Paris. They will accept foreign cards as long as they are chip and pin. The machine will ask if you agree to pay €150 euros but fear not, this is just a guarantee in case you run off with the bike. I have already "velibbed" myself and the only money that was ever taken out of my account was the 1 euro day tariff. You'll warm up quicker biking around Paris and see more things, although I would advise not tackling the busier squares and roundabouts and getting off your bike and pushing it along the pavement. The roundabout at Charles de Gaulle Etoille does not look friendly for motorists, let alone cyclists!

8) Bateaux mouches – yes again this is outside but there are boats where you can sit inside and take a tour along the seine and look at all the monuments, quite comfortably sat down (see http://www.bateauxparisiens.com/, prices start from 11 euros for adults). Anyway it is rather romantic taking a boat ride along the seine.

9) The café at Place St Michel, Le Départ Saint Michel, much cheaper than La Durée, this café is on the corner between Quai St Michel and the Place St Michel. You can get a seat looking out onto the seine and Notre Dame on the other side of the river and watch people go by (a favourite pastime of all French people, especially as staring doesn't seem to be quite so socially unacceptable here!). In France, there is no problem about taking a book, sitting in a café, ordering a €1.50 café and staying there for hours. Out of the cold, warm and comfortable and with views on Notre Dame, what more can you ask for (oh ok, a nice romantic French man to seduce you would be nice as well).

10) Speaking of Notre Dame, you may have already visited it but at Christmas there is a free show with music from the choir and a slide show called Lumière née de la Lumière showing picture of various statues and art works, all depicting the nativity. Even for those who aren't religious or aren't Christian, it is just nice to sit there listening to the choir music and watching the display of pictures. So nice in fact that last year when I visited with friends, one of my friends fell asleep on my shoulder!

11) Ice skating at Hotel de Ville or Montparnasse – For this one you will have to be wrapped up warm but I'm sure with all the skating around you'll warm up anyway (unless like me you tend to fall on your bum quite a lot in which case thermal undies would be useful!). This is a lot of fun. It costs 5 euros to hire the skates and the Hotel de Ville does look very pretty with the ice rink in front of it. There is also a toboggan slide for the kids (oh to be five again!).

12) Lights of Paris – As it gets dark around 5 or 6 pm here it is a great opportunity to go and take pictures of the Christmas decorations. The obvious one is Champs Elysée where the trees are all lit up with lights which look like sparkling icicles. In front of Notre Dame there is a nice big Christmas tree which is all lit up too. Boulevard Haussmann is another place which has to be visited as not only is the shopping centre all lit up but there are also animated window displays (big kid, me?). There are other places which are lit up which you may fall upon when wandering around.

13) "Chestnuts roasting on a…"…barrel – as you wander around Paris you will see people selling hot chestnuts. Whilst they may not look very inviting, once you crack open the shells (careful they are hot!) the white insides are really yummy.

14) Montmartre – Again, you may already have visited Montmatre before but around this time of year it is rather nice as there are often market stalls and warm food and beverages being sold (mulled wine especially). Montmatre is one of the rare places in Paris where you can eat well for not very expensive. At this time of year I would suggest that you have crepes for lunch finishing with a nutella crepe for dessert (surely the reason why nutella was invented) or if you go there in the evening, check out one of the raclette or fondue restaurants. Warm melting cheese, yum!

Of course, if none of the above tempts you, Paris has ample amounts of gardens, museums and art Galleries, there is a Museum of Edith Piaf (5 rue Crespin du Gast, Metro – ménilmontant) or for the fashion fans Christian Lacroix, is presenting an exhibition called history of fashion at the Musée Arts Décoratifs. In any case, do not be fooled (as I have done in the past) into thinking that France is always warmer than the UK (for example) and not dress appropriately. The thing about Paris is that it is an amazing, romantic, fascinating city but unless you are properly wrapped up warm to face the cold, you won't care how beautiful it all is!

L'amour est….

Paris, the city of love. When people think of incredibly romantic destinations they would like to visit, you can bet that Paris appears somwhere on the list. We have all heard about le French lover, ze French kiss (cannot tell you how many times French guys have tried to sell that one to me!) and just generally the French's reputation for being amazing lovers (yes I can confirm that one). But what is it about France and the French which makes them such experts in love. Over the years I have come to appreciate exactly quite how much love forms part of the French culture. Indeed, the business of love seems to be a national pasttime.

When I first arrived in France (after the Eurasmus year that is) and I started teaching, one of the first things the young 8 year old girls I used to teach would ask me was "Mademoiselle Rose, est-ce que tu as une amoureux?". Translation: "Miss Rose do you have someone you are in love with?". Ok, vocabulary problem here. I was not being asked if I had a boyfriend (although it was necessarily implied) I was being asked, in my mind, whether I was in fact in love with someone. If someone from England had asked me the question, even if at the time I had had a boyfriend, I would have asked "what's love got to do with it? So far he is a nice guy, we get on and as for the rest we'll see what happens!". Of course when you start dating someone there is inevitably the stage when you feel all "loved up" and you say to your friends "oh I am so in love!" but what you mean is that you are "in lust". Being asked whether I am in fact in love with someone requires a greater level of reflection as to what being in love actually means. I think the whole world has spent many years trying to answer that one! Of course, in the minds of these sweet French children having a boyfriend = being in love and therefore my boyfriend (had I had one at the time) would have been my "loved one".
I quite truthfully told the children that no, Miss Rose did not have an "amoureux".
"Oh" said the little girl "parceque moi j'en ai un. Il est en cinqième". I'm sorry, what?? Not only did this girl apparently have a boyfriend, whom she was in love with, but in fact that said boy was in fith year in France (year 8 in England, i.e. that he was around 13 years old).

Yes it is true that when I was little (5 to be precise) I had boyfriends. At one point I even had two (scandalous I know), one who I chased around the playground and another who let me kiss him. The first boyfriend didn't let me kiss him, only chase him around, hence the need for the second boyfriend. I must have used up my boyfriend luck having two boyfriends at once because for the rest of my childhood I never had an actual boyfriend. In fact the next boyfriend I did have was when I was 15 years old.

I'm sure that this young girl was just referring to a boy she quite liked and who quite liked her and that was where it ended but I found it interesting the way she used the term "amoureux". When I speak to my young cousins on the subject of boyfriends they usually say that they fancy someone but he doesn't fancy them, or vice-versa, or that they have a boyfriend, or that they play kiss and chase with the boys they like. I don't think "love" comes into it whatsoever!

Another example, with the same class of girls, was when I was teaching them things they could say in response to the question "What do you do at the weekend?". Again, another of my 8 year olds raised her hand and said "Miss Rose, comment tu dirai "diner en amoureux"?". "Why?" I asked, wondering when and how this child went to romantic restaurants with her lover. "Parce que c'est ça que je fais", she said. Now I'm fairly sure that this question was asked for the benefit of her friends so that she could show off but I still found the idea quite amusing. This little girl's preoccupation was to know how to say "I have a romantic dinner" not "I play with my dolls" or "I play with my skipping rope" or even "I go horseriding" (all of which were subsequently mentioned but ranked lower down!).

The thing that struck me most however was an incident which took place after playtime one day. I just near the classroom door two boys were having a fight, encouraged by their classmates naturally. I managed to break off the fight, send the other children into the classroom and put the two boys on opposite sides of the classroom facing the wall. Once I had got the children to calm down and had set them their work I went over and spoke to the boys individually. "Ok Pierre, what happened".
"Jacombette" Pierre said in a muffled voice.
"What? I didn't understand"
"Jacques m'embête".
"Ok so why does Jacques annoy you?" immediately beginning to think about bullying issues.
Huff.
"Pierre, if you want me to help you then you're going to have to talk to me"
Glare.
"What exactly does Jacques do to annoy you?"
Another huff.
"Pierre!"
"C'est parce que lui il est amoureux de Marion et moi aussi"
Ah, now we have got to the heart of the matter. These two 9 year old boys were fighting over Marion, a blue eyed, blonde haired girl who was very pretty, very aware of the effect her charm had on the boys, and totally not interested in any of them.
Further questioning of Jacques confirmed Pierre's story.

Again, when my young cousin was nine years old, his reply when asked what he thought of the opposite sex would have been "yuck! Girls? Yuk!". He most certainly would not have got into a fight over a girl. Argument over which is the best player in Man U, yes. Argument over a girl, no!
Which is why I was quite astonished that these boys were fighting over a girl. For goodness sake I don't think I've ever seen grown men fighting over a woman nevermind young boys!

In France, love is a part of life. Without love, you don't seem to be living. So for those couples who may be discovering Paris over the holiday season, if in France you feel there is more romance, more poetry, more love in the air in general, that is because it is the case. As I've discovered, the French are such experts in love because, as it would seem, they start'em young!

There's no place like home

OK so they are not red, they are sparkly, but no matter how much I click my heels together I won't just magically fly home (which to be fair would be a really good thing given how much Easyjet are charging these days plus all those extra charges for hand luggage, what???). This time of the year, i.e. the month of November is particularly difficult.

Living in France is amazing, glamorous, romantic, poetic and filled with amazing experiences however there is no place like home and being away from home is difficult. Sometimes I think if I had stayed in the UK and got a job it would be most likely that I would be working away from home and so would not see my family more often than I do at present but at least I would only be a few hours drive away and could go home whenever I wanted. Also there are times when I am home that I think, "isn't this great!" and think about how easy it would be just to move back and fit right back into British culture and not have to overcome the cultural differences as I do here. In actual fact this is just a fantasy because no sooner would I be home than I would be miserable because I missed France.

When I moved out here four years ago everyone said how brave I was being and what a "tough cookie" I was. It's funny how when everyone says that you are brave you don't feel very brave isn't it? Anyway, yes I was being brave, I didn't know anyone in Bordeaux and I had come out on my own to study. Since then I came to Paris, found an apartment, found a job and did the whole thing over again. I think however brave people are those who overcome situations which are imposed upon them. I chose to go to France and start a new life, brave maybe, obstinately stupid definitely! Of course nothing bad happened and year after year my life has worked out, if it hadn't I wouldn't still be here. I'm also someone who despite the difficulties refuses to go back to the UK and wants to prove that I can make it (I've yet to "make it" but I'll keep you posted!). Whilst the last four years have been challenging they have also been rewarding but these rewards have involved sacrifices.

As it always the case, when you decide to move far away from home you have to accept the fact that friends and family will be further away, that their lives will continue without you and that the distance will make a difference. In some cases this can mean that relationship's are improved because you don't see each other every day and hence really enjoy the times that you do see each other but in other cases, living away means that you miss out on special occasions, relationships developing through sharing moments and you have to accept the fact that your old friends will move on without you and even become closer among themselves leaving you out. When I do see my friends in the UK I have discovered that there are cultural differences, my daily life is so different from theirs. They may be talking about the latest sales in Warehouse whereas I'll be excited about the fact that Camaïeu has its 10 days of offers and as for what goes on in popular culture forget it! They'll be humming the latest Amy Winehouse single where as in France, "Rehab" has only just come out. Of course these things don't matter in good friendships but still, events over the last few years have made me realize that sacrifices have been made.

I'm not at all complaining about my life in France. I consider myself to be VERY blessed and haven't regretted anything that has happened in the last few years. Old friendships may show signs of wear and tear but they are still standing and like any relationship they need nurturing from time to time to keep them strong. Also over the past few years I have made and nurtured many other new friendships which I'm very happy about. Everything that has happened, everyone I have met, all the relationships I have had/have still are all part of who I am today and of course I wouldn't want to change that.

What I am trying to say (in my usual roundabout fashion) is that whilst the sparkling lights of the champs elysée are only a few meters away, whilst I can buy myself freshly baked warm croissants and pain au chocolats at any time I choose, whilst I have access to gallons of great cheap French wine and a wide range of cheeses and then of course there are all those charming handsome French men…. all this sometimes cannot compare to being home with my family and friends who come from the same culture as I do, speak the same language, laugh at the same jokes, and have known and loved me for all my life.

Vive les vacances!